Hi, Pax Assadi here. It’s really nice to see you. Is that a new top? It looks great on you, the colour really compliments your skin tone. It’s been a while since I’ve been to the Nelson Arts Festival. I’ve been busy with life—water blasting my deck, building flat pack furniture, and making award-winning television (Watch Raised By Refugees now on NEON or Sky Go).

Hey, so… I need to tell you something BUT I need you to keep it a secret. Can you do that? Ok, cool. Then come to a designated theatre this season, and I’ll share this secret with you in the form of stand-up comedy. Ideally, you come alone, but if you must, you may bring one other person—maybe a significant other or close friend. Coming in a large group is also acceptable, but you have to make sure that everyone in this group understands that what I’m going to share with you is highly confidential. If they fail to respect the classified nature of what will be said on the night, their life may be at risk.